INSPECTORS CONFIRM LIGHT AT END OF TUNNEL; STEAM TRAIN ALSO PRESENT, 'WHICH IS NORMAL'

Rail inspectors this week completed a review of WHP, a 2022 clip from Japanese television featuring a steam train, which Mr. Samman captions simply: "It's that light at the end of the tunnel."

"We get a lot of complaints about that phrase," said the lead inspector. "Usually the light turns out to be an oncoming train. In this case there is a light, and there is also a train, and both are behaving normally. We have closed the file." Inspectors also confirmed the train was not pushing a time machine, "as one did once, in 1885, at considerable cost to the locomotive."

The inspectors were less comfortable with the route. No timetable they hold lists a line that departs from a teenager's corner in 1995, calls at Accounting, Computer Information Systems and two further majors, changes at web development and arrives, eventually, on Japanese television. "It's not on the map," said the inspector. "Then again, this week, nothing he does is."

The route has now been added to the national timetable as a scenic line. Officials warn it has no express service and that most passengers will not arrive where their ticket says. "They arrive somewhere better," said a conductor. "It just takes thirty years."